How's everybody doing? My name is Bobby Natanson, not Nathanson, not Snatonson. OK, you got me. It's Satanson.

My old man is the big ragoo, the dark dude himself. People ask me what it's like being the son of Beelzebub. Well, he encouraged me to pull little girls' pigtails, and I never lost a fight.

People ask me what it's like growing up in Hell — well, for me it's really heavenly, yeah, I'm very happy with my wife, she's half gargoyle and half imp. She's not too pretty, but at least she's always horny.

I've always loved pain and anguish, I can't fall asleep unless my wife is yelling at me.

But, back to my dad — he's not like he used to be when he was young. When you're several thousand years old, you lose your vigor. All he does now is sit in his rocker and take pot-shots at the damned.

I had problems with my mother from the very beginning. She used to paste her grocery stamps in my baby book and say things like, "Watch both ways before you cross the street."

I'm so short, a girl I went out with the other night said that she thought of standing me up, then she realized I was already standing up.

I decided to run an ad in the classifieds for the perfect mate. The only response I got went like this: "My name is Thelma, I'm an eighteen-year-old Bigfoot girl. I stand seven feet nine inches tall and I'm covered from head to toe with glossy dark brown hair."

So I decided to go retrieve my bride to be.

I took Flight Thirteen and the pilot came on and said "Relax, relax, relax" — suddenly the plane lurched. Fortunately, I was sitting next to Pat Robinson. He said, "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything." Do you know what he did? He took up a collection.

The stewardess asked me if I wanted a prune danish or sushi. I said, "Sushi — back home we call that bait!"

We finally landed at the North Pole. It was love at first sight, and we were married by Rabbi Nanuck Finebaum.

We boarded the plane, but Thelma weighed so much we crashed in Greenland. Have you ever been to Greenland on a Saturday night, folks? All there was to do was watch them unload the trucks at the A&P. They just hose everything down, then when it's frozen they just slide it out. They had a sale on used paint — it came in the shape of a house.

We finally made it back to the states and we had many good years of marriage, until I found out she'd been seeing an Irish Setter. (He holds up a hoop about a foot in diameter.) Anybody want to buy a wedding ring?

I'm also an arteest, ladies and gentlemen. If you don't mind, I'd like to show you a film I created for public television. (A movie screen drops down; he explains that he did all of the artwork and animation by hand. As the fourteen-minute film rolls, he narrates the story line.)

(He thanks the audience.)

I like to touch people with my artwork and music, but instead they think I'm touched. One almost has to be a closet music and art appreciator. Well, you can always claim you're an artist, and nobody can claim you're not.